


Any Way The Wind Blows

by orphan_account



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt Crowley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:34:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22485667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Gabriel and Beelzebub find out out Aziraphale and Crowley's switcharo the decide to get some payback.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Kudos: 10





	1. Prince Of Hell

Beelzebub paced back and forth in their throne room. The darkened walls and floor made the steps they took echo in the room.

They racked their brain trying to come up with a solution for why that fucking pitiful excuse for a demon Crowley didn't die when he bathed in the holy water.

Furthermore, Crowley didn't smell like himself. He smelled more... angelic. Once an angel had fallen all things holy and angelic get thrown out of them. It one of the things that makes a fall so horrid and painful.

So, technically speaking there should be now way for Crowley to have even the slightest scent of angel attached to him.

Perhaps... no it was impossible. But Gabriel had mentioned that the traitor angel called Aziraphale had somehow not burned in the heavenly fire.

Beelzebub made a decision that they knew they would regret later on; they were going to regroup with Gabriel. If anyone in Heaven or Hell found out about the fact they had met with each other they would surely be kicked out of their positions. Alas, Beelzebub needed to speak with Gabriel.

Beelzebub was sitting on a quite uncomfortable wooden bench at a place that the mortals called a "park".  
They were currently waiting on the fashionably late Gabriel.  
Beelzebub was ready to get up and live but the familiar scent of the archangel approached near. 

Beelzebub forced themselves not to turn around and face Gabriel.  
"Gabriel," they said nonchalantly as Gabriel sat down.

"Beelzebub," he replied not even making eye contact with the demon. He clapped his hands together So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Aziraphale and Crowley," they said with distaste 

Gabriel audibly sighed, "Them again?"

"Yes, I believe they have fooled us,"

Gabriel laughed, "Fooled me? I'm the archangel fucking Gabriel. I haven't been fooled since I was a fledgling,"

Beelzebub grew impatient, "Well somehow they did, and they did it well,"

"This sounds like bullshit in my opinion,"

They frowned, "Its not,"

"What makes you so sure?"

"I... I'm trusting my gut,"

"We don't even have organs,"

Beelzebub scowled, "You know what I mean,"

Gabriel shook his head, "I seriously don't,"

"Tell me, did you not notice anything off about Aziraphale,"

"You mean other than the fact that he didn't burn?"

"Yes,"

"He did possess something... well hellish to him. But I believe that's because he's spent too much time with that demon Crowley,"

"Perhaps, but I believe that Crowley and Aziraphale decided to trade places,"

Gabriel looked perplexed, "You mean..."

"I mean that they disguised themselves as the other,"

"How could they manage to do that and have us not know?"

"Do I look like I fucking know?!" Beelzebub snapped gaining the attention of a husband and wife walking by. They glared at Beelzebub, it could be because of the yelling or the fact that they looked like something straight out of an alternative rock music video. They sighed, "All I'm saying is that they managed to trick us and I don't know about you, but I want some payback,"

"I agree, but do we even know where those two are?  
The last that I've heard is that they've been frolicking with each other,"

———-  
I'm another corner of Britain Aziraphale and Crowley were lounging in a new establishment of Aziraphale's book shop.

Crowley was sprawled out on the couch. Attempting to read a book that his angel had recommended to him. Despite wanting to read it he just couldn't manage to get hooked on it.

"How are things going over there, love?" Called out Aziraphale who was stacking books in another room.

"Uh... It's going great, Angel,"

Despite not being able to currently see Aziraphale, Crowley could sense him smiling. And thus Crowley smiled along with him.

As the night drew near and the two were preparing for dinner. Crowley had never been too keen on food but Aziraphale had given him some food that Crowley managed to appreciate.  
The main reason why Crowley put himself through dinner was because he loved Aziraphale and he would do anything for Aziraphale.

Once they had finished another delicious dish prepared by Aziraphale they sat together on the couch. Crowley has never been compelled to call some place home. But here, he truly felt content and at home.  
If we're being honest this scared Crowley. He feared that now when he finally felt happy and safe that someone or something would come and rip it away from him.

He thought about that wretched day at the bookshop when he though that Aziraphale was dead. It was a time where Crowley realised he totally and undoubtedly in love with his angel.

When it turned 11 pm they decided to go to sleep.  
Aziraphale wasn't sure why Crowley was so obsessed with sleeping. It was like being dead for eight hours give or take. But there was a comfort with being in a bed next to Crowley.

Aziraphale would never tell Crowley this but Crowley squirmed in his sleep. One second he would be facing one direction and the next the completely opposite.

One morning Aziraphale woke up and Crowley managed to turn to snake form in his sleep. Crowley denied this when Aziraphale questioned him on the subject, "I couldn't turn into a snake in my sleep if I tried," he insisted.

Aziraphale smiles and responded with, "Ok,"

"You don't believe me do you?"

"Oh no, I do,"

Crowley had frowned but didn't say anything. The conversation had never been brought up again.

Now, Crowley had extended his arms and legs to take up most the bed. Aziraphale didn't complain, he was happy to see Crowley in such a content state.  
Perhaps they could finally live out their days peacefully and happily.

Aziraphale didn't have to look far back to where he came to the startling conclusion that he shared such a profound bond, called love with Crowley. 

It was when Crowley but himself in dangers way at the church just to save Aziraphale, he even saved his books.

So here they were in bed together just content with eachother.  
Neither of them knew that their whole world would once again change.


	2. Times are Hard For Dreamers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale reflect.  
> Gabriel and Beelzebub plan something sinister.

The demon Crowley had noticed a quietness from Hell, perhaps they had finally given up on trying to beat Heaven in the everlasting battle.  
Crowley laughed, no that's impossible. The day that he saw peace between Heaven and Hell would be way after he died.   
That mean't that Hell had gone radio silence for some darker reason.

He felt unnerved and paranoid, what if Hell was waiting to strike, what if... no he was going to look on the positive side of things, for Aziraphale.

Now, Aziraphale had his own dilemma. Something had been broadcasted throughout Heaven but right as it was about to announce the important part it went dead silent. Leaving Aziraphale with a deep pit in his stomach.

He was currently sitting at the breakfast table that he and Crowley had bought at a yard sale.  
It was oak and it had initials carved into one of the legs. To continue this tradition the humans had made, Aziraphale and Crowley had added their names on the adjacent leg. 

Crowley yawned and entered the room. His wings were ruffled and his feathers were sticking every which way. He was wearing a Fleetwood Mac shirt that hung loosely around his collar bones. He also had on heart underwear. He had shaved his legs as well.

He flopped down on of the chairs, "Mornin' angel,"

Aziraphale put on a smile, "Good afternoon Crowley,"

Crowley raised an eyebrow, "Afternoon?"

"Yes dear, it's 3 pm,"

"Damn... I shouldn't have slept that long,"

"It's not the longest you've ever slept, love,"

Crowley paused, "True," He grabbed Aziraphale's hand from across the table, "So, what do you want to do today?" Crowley's voice had a tint of remorse in it.  
That was because Crowley knew something bad was going to happen, so he was going to try and experience all the good that he could while the world was still being kind to him and his dear angel.

Perhaps the world wasn't being kind, most likely the world was luring them into a false sense of security so when disaster inevitably caught up with the pair, it would make it even more heart breaking and emotional for them. 

Aziraphale watched as Crowley searched for something hopeful. He had learned to read his red haired friend over the years. Of course, he couldn't read him quite that well. Which in some ways was comforting, to sometimes walk blindly into the unknown. But it was also awful, you could take a wrong turn and end up in a place where you couldn't escape from.

"Angel," Aziraphale was taken out of his thinking when he saw Crowley looking at him worriedly.

"Are you alright Az?" Crowley added

Aziraphale attempted to smile, "Yes, I'm fine,"

Crowley didn't quite believe this statement but he decided it was best not to pry. He leaned in and kissed Aziraphale on the cheek, "I love you, Angel,"

"I love you too, Crowley. Don't you ever forget it,"

"I'll try not to,"  
————————

Deep down underground Beelzebub was leading a disgusted Gabriel through the passages of Hell.

"How can you live down here?" Gabriel asked when he stepped in a puddle of.... something. The walls around him were cinderblock and were covered in some sort of black slime. 

"It wasn't our first choice," Beelzebub snarled, "Your gracious leader threw us down here because we didn't make the final cut," They led Gabriel down a narrow corridor that made each of their steps grow louder.

"Where exactly are we going?" There was a tinge of fear in Gabriel's voice. This amused Beelzebub.

"To your doom," Joked Beelzebub

Sadly Gabriel didn't catch on, "I'm armed with Holy water," he said as he opened his coat and showed that his inside pocket that had a flask of holy water.

"Yes I know, I can sense it,"

Gabriel frowned and closed his coat back up, "Can we hurry this up, I don't want to deal with this much longer. I have other things to attend to,"

Beelzebub rolled his eyes, "Of course you do. Let me guess Heaven needs their personal janitor to wipe up someone's piss?" They mocked

Gabriel looked deeply offended, "No, I have meetings with Raphael, Metatron, and Castiel. The last one has been a real problem lately,"

Beelzebub tilted their head, "Aw, it's cute that you think that I actually care about your personal life. I'm a demon, remember,"

Gabriel looked around his surroundings, "I never forgot,"

Beelzebub led him into a storage type of room. It had a curved ceiling and black walls. Lined all around the room were shelves that held what looked like skin and jars of... something. Personally Gabriel didn't want to know.

"So, what's the plan Beelzebub?" He asked. He wanted this meeting to get over with.

Beelzebub had found a black uncomfortable looking chair and was   
sprawled out sitting in it. Gabriel noticed that Beelzebub's feet didn't even touch the ground. "Cute," he thought. But then he remembered that Beelzebub was a demon, and demons were not cute.

"MY Plan is that we trick them, obviously. We stalk them for awhile. But we'll need to disguise ourselves as," they paused, "Ugh humans, so they don't know who we are,"

"And then,"

Beelzebub rolled their eyes, "Persistent, aren't you? And then we bring them here," They motioned to a door. 

It was metal with a small rectangular hole near the top. It slid open. Gabriel cautiously walked towards it. He peered inside and a disgusting putrid smell of death and decay filled his nose. He suppressed the urge to throw up. The room's walls were lined with hooks and chains. All of them still caked in dried blood. The room looked like it had been personally made for someone. But it also seemed that it had sat here useless for decades or longer. In the middle of the room was something that could only be explained as a torture chair.

Beelzebub got up and walked over to Gabriel, "Impressing isn't it? We made it for some nameless demon who was going around pretending to be a human. He tried to make a nice life for himself. But we couldn't have that,"

"How are we going to torture both of them in the same room, isn't that hazardous?"

Beelzebub groaned, "No shit! We bring one of them here. The other will be left to think that maybe they've been left alone. And when they've finally given up hope we get the other one,"

"Is that all?"

A wicked smile appeared on Beelzebub's face, "Nope! We then kill them in front of each other! That's the best kind of torture I can think of,"

Something had sparked between Beelzebub and Gabriel. Something interesting, something human, something... sinister.


	3. Oh my Dear Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something grows between Gabriel and Beelzebub.   
> Crowley thinks about his fall.

The quiet ticking of the grandfather clock resting against the wall was the only noise in the book shop.

Crowley was sitting impatiently at the table. He and Aziraphale were going on a date. One of the many things they had fallen into a habit of. 

Crowley would go out of his way to find clothes that would impress his angel. Of course, Aziraphale didn’t care what Crowley wore. The mere act of spending a night together at some new fancy restaurant that Aziraphale would not be shutting up about filled them both with joy.

Aziraphale was upstairs trying to find a pocket watch he had dropped behind the bed. He, frustrated, huffed and gave up. The past few days had been extra stressful for him. He was worried about what ever Heaven was planning. He of course, had zero idea what that was. He wanted to believe that he was just being paranoid. 

Crowley, on the other hand, had been plagued with nightmares. The nights soon became a dreadful time for him. His dreams were infested with imagining Aziraphale hurt... or worse. He’d wake up clinging to Aziraphale with dear life. Aziraphale would ask, “What’s the matter my dear?”

Crowley would be too embarrassed to tell the truth instead he’d say, “Oh, its nothing angel,”

Aziraphale would look at him suspiciously but wouldn’t reply. 

Crowley always had nightmares, Aziraphale knew this. The first on he had was back in 139 AD. He was laying on a sack of hay in an abandoned tavern. It started with a swirling pit of black water. The water receded and it painted a picture of Crowley’s first home, Heaven.

He was sitting on a white chair. He was toying with the stupid makeshift halo someone higher up had given him. 

He saw a conversation take place out of the corner of his eye. It ended with some random angel pointing towards Crowley.

An angel that went by Naomi approached him, “I think its best you come with me,” she said.

Crowley looked up at her and frowned, “What if I don’t want to?”

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice,”

Crowley hesitated before speaking again, “What is this about?”

“It’s about what God thinks is best,”

The dream twisted itself to the scene of Crowley falling. Falling happened quickly, but it felt slow. It felt like everything good, pure, holy, and angelic was burning out of your body. It felt like someone took a blowtorch to their wings and burned them to the point where they could still be used but would always be a reminder of what happened. 

Then when you hit the ground. It was like being stabbed in the back with twelve million tiny knives. All digging deeper the closer you get to hell.   
When you finally get to Hell, you are welcomed by many demons surrounding you, mocking you. It’s degrading. Here you are, in pain and left feeling alone, and they’re laughing.

Crowley had woken up from that nightmare drenched in sweat. It would return every year or so. He never told Aziraphale about them.  
—————-  
Gabriel was standing in the middle of a room with white walls, white floors, and even his clothes were white. The only thing that contrasted this was Beelzebub’s attire. 

“You might want to at least try and fit in,” He said to them.

Beelzebub shook their head, “I’d rather be drenched in holy water that dress like an angel again,”

Gabriel smiled smugly, “That can be arranged,”

Beelzebub hated Gabriel with every fiber of their being. Something a point his path of righteousness disgusted Beelzebub. For they had been casted out of Heaven for being slightly different now this asshole gets to help run the joint. It made Beelzebub physically sick to think about. And here he was, insisting that Beelzebub dress like some preppy, goody two shoes, god loving snob? No thanks. It would be another reminder that no matter what Hell did, they would never be able to compare themselves to Heaven.

So, here they were standing in a dull white colored room waiting to receive the whereabouts of Crowley and Aziraphale. 

“Why’d we have to meet in Heaven?” Grumbled Beelzebub

“We met at your end last time,” replied Gabriel, “Also we wouldn’t want your kind to get suspicious,”

Beelzebub scoffed, “It’s my kinds job to be suspicious,”

Gabriel paused and thought for a moment, “You don’t seem too suspicious,”

Beelzebub’s cheeks flushed, “That’s what I want you you to think,”

A door appeared and a pudgy hobo looking angel walked in holding manuscripts, “Here are the drafts you requested, Gabriel... and Beelzebub-,” Before he could finish Gabriel snapped his fingers. And smited him.

“He was just a fledgling. God won’t notice if some random guy is missing,”

“God is awfully observant, I would think that you would know that,”

Gabriel frowned, “She really isn’t. I don’t want to sound blasphemous but I’ve done a few things behind her back and she hasn’t batted an eye, not that she has any,”

Beelzebub gritted their teeth, “If God wasn’t observant than I wouldn’t be a bloody demon,” they yelled in Gabriel’s face.

Gabriel was taken aback by Beelzebub’s sudden fierceness. Something crossed over Beelzebub’s face, something like. Pain, “Beelze-,”

They put their hand up, “Don’t. Say. Anything. Just read those stupid drafts Metatron cast out,”

Gabriel obliged and opened one of the scrolls, “What is this for again?”

Beelzebub sighed, “Metatron was hired to write down some information about what could make an angel feel pain. Well, a fallen angel for that matter. God decided she didn’t want this information getting out for some reason and demanded Metatron throw it away. But, Metatron doesn’t follow rules, so he just set them aside. He’s also very careless so now they are ours for the taking,”

Gabriel grinned and ruffled Beelzebub’s hair a little, “Nice working. You’re smart... for a demon,”

Beelzebub looked up at Gabriel and removed his hand from atop their head, “Remember, we don’t speak of this to anyone but each other. Agreed?”

“Agreed,”


	4. If I Had any Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub needs to speak to Gabriel.

The demon Beelzebub had come to a very unliked and unwanted consensus. They had grown fond of Gabriel. It was a fondness that disgusted the small prince of Hell. The realization had come to them in the middle of a conference on mental health in Hell (Presented by Dagon and Azazel). 

Beelzebub had gotten bored and tuned the two demons out when their thoughts kept drifting back to the tall annoying angel. He sat straight up gaining the attention of everyone else in the room. They left without giving anyone a reason.

From there Beelzebub sprinted to the throne room. One of the only rooms where they could get privacy. 

“Why,” they thought, “If I’m fond of Gabriel then I’m no better than that Aziraphale and Crowley,”

Now, demons usually didn’t feel guilt, remorse, or pity. But something churned inside Beelzebub. They started to think that getting payback wasn’t such a good idea. Sure, they were still incredibly pissed off at the pair but if this ugly fondness of Gabriel grew into something more, why it would make Beelzebub somewhat egotistical. And then there would be an even smaller chance of Gabriel liking them back, not that he did.

Beelzebub was Worried now, it would be best for their respective sides to eliminate Crowley and Aziraphale but they really hadn’t done anything bad in the past months. Beelzebub had truly met a crossroad, and not the fun kind where you sell your soul to a demon.

Beelzebub had to make a decision, they could let their humanity get the best of them by letting Crowley and Aziraphale off the hook, or they could unleash their full wrath. Both seemed particularly intriguing. But what would Hell do if they learned one of their higher ranking leaders gave up the opportunity to kill a traitor. Would they be condemned as well? Perhaps the demons would revolt and manage to kill Beelzebub instead, and-, “Beelzebub,”

Their thoughts were interrupted by no other than the Archangel fucking Gabriel himself, “How’d you get down here?!” Beelzebub demanded. They walked up to Gabriel and crossed their arms. 

Gabriel smirked, “I have my ways,” he examined the room, “You call this a throne room?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to like it,” Beelzebub said annoyed 

Gabriel shook his head, “No, its not that its just... gloomy,”

“Thiz izz Hell what do you expect?” It wasn’t til’ Gabriel was looking at Beelzebub with curiosity that they realized their fly accent slipped out. Most of the time they didn’t care what others thought about the way they talked but when Beelzebub was around Gabriel they had a new sense of wanting to impress.

“I didn’t know you sounded like that,” he said

“I don’t let people know for a reazon,” Beelzebub hoped that Gabriel couldn’t tell that Beelzebub was blushing.

“How come?”

Beelzebub sighed and avoided the question, “Why are you here, Gabriel?”

Gabriel laughed nervously, “Do I need a reason to visit my favorite demon?”

The word favorite hit Beelzebub like a truck, “You’re not zuppozed to have a favorite demon. So, why are you really here?” Beelzebub inquired.

Gabriel inhaled sharply, “You won’t like this but.. I told some of the angels about our plan,”

Beelzebub was baffled, “You did what!?”

“I thought it would help us,” Gabriel said defensively 

“You broke my truzzzt!” The buzz was really prominent now.

Gabriel laughed, “Bubz, we’re on two different sides, we don’t have any trust between us,”

That hurt Beelzebub for some reason, was they’re really no trust between them, “First off, don’t call my ‘Bubz’ zzeconded, I can’t believe you would do thizz! If the newz getzz down to those bratty demonz they’ll zzzurely tear me apart for even zzpeaking to you! Then they’ll go after you becauzze they’ll be mad that you’re the reazon they had to kill me!”

Gabriel put his hands up, “Calm yourself, Bubz. I can’t really understand you,”

“I... juzt leave, Gabriel,”

“Oh come on Bubz! Don’t be so sour,”

Beelzebub pointed towards the door, “Go,”

“Why do you care?” Instead he just moved closer to Beelzebub, “All that matters is that we get Crowley and Aziraphale, we’ll still stick to your original plan, I swear. We just have some extra help now,”

Beelzebub shook their head, “You don’t underzztand,”

Gabriel kept getting closer and closer, “Help me to understand,”

Beelzebub sighed, “I can’t go through with thizz,”

“With what? Working with angels?”

“No, I can’t kill Crowley,”

Gabriel looked at them confused, “Uh, Of course you can. You may be short but you’re still powerful,”

“Thatz not what I meant! I don’t want to kill him!”

“What?! Why?”

“They have been a pain in our asses but recently they’ve been just enjoying themselves. We saw the other day that they’re just living together. Why is it it so out of the ordinary for an angel and demon to be together? We demons, haven’t felt love since before the fall. Sure, Asmodeus has fallen in love a few times. But I’ve never even felt genuine happiness after the fall, that waz until...” they trailed off.

“You can’t be serious,” 

“It sounds stupid I know. But lets just leave them in the past. They’ll just bring up more problmez we don’t want to deal with,”

Gabriel seemed to think for a moment, “Fine, I can do better off without worrying about Aziraphale,”

Beelzebub was shocked, they hadn’t thought Gabriel would just let go that easily, “Really?”

Gabriel shrugged, “Yeah, so will this be our last meeting?”

Beelzebub was taken aback, “Huh?”

Gabriel laughed, “I mean, if we’re not going through with this plan then I guess there’s no reason for us to keep meeting, right?”

“But,”

“But what?”

“What if we come up with others things to do, not involving Crowley and Aziraphale. We could talk about diplomacy,”

“You seem awfully persistent to keep meeting with me Bubz,”

“Well, I just. It’s nice to know someone I match wits with, I guess,”

Gabriel sighed, “You can just ask to hang out, you know. You don’t have to dance around that. But what I still don’t understand is why? You were filled up with hatred when demons and angels hung with each other, and now this? It’s out of character Bubz,”

“You’re just... fun to be around I guess,”

Gabriel smiled and turned and headed towards the door, “Just ring when you want to meet up,” He shut the door delicately.

Beelzebub stood there, confused about all that had just happened.


End file.
